I Am Not In Control

BY KEN DE JESUS

2020 has been tough for everyone. For me, I can at least say that the pandemic got the best of me, especially with my mental health.

Knowing that I just went through a battle with depression in 2018 and 2019, I was thinking that 2020 would be my year where I could get back on track. It was difficult for me, thinking how would I be able to spend another day on a lockdown, being isolated. There are only limited things that I am able to do freely.

Prior to the pandemic, I enjoyed serving Every Sunday in the Singles and Production Ministry at the Feast PICC. But amidst all the changes, I thought I was doing okay. As days went by, it was mental torture seeing people over the news getting sick and dying. I couldn’t keep myself from thinking

I might end up the same way. But God never stopped giving me reasons to cheer up.

Not even a pandemic can stop what God has planned for me. I believe this Divine plan led me to the right group of people who helped me get through my struggles.

My family. It was such a blessing to spend plenty of time with them. Blessings

My fellow Feast servants and friends. Every night, we would have online activities. During the weekend, we would have Zoom Light groups.

Each and every day, armed with all of these blessings, it became easier for me to bear the hardships.

That thought of “I will just try to figure out myself” turned into “I’m not alone, we got this”. I have my family, my friends and an awesome God. It’s an assurance from God that I don’t have to battle alone. This pandemic taught me that when things are beyond my control, I just have to give it all to Him.

Truly, God is a Way-maker. And all you need to learn is how to surrender.