My New Portion

By CYBILL P. BAYTO

YES, this is my blessings portion. As we said earlier, we, The Feast Family staff, try as much as possible to  follow Journalism writing rule to stay in the background.

But I feel I need to share this, My New Normal Portion amid this Coronavirus Pandemic.

I serve as Information Technology specialist, reporter and writer for our Media Ministry. And now, during this Pandemic, I work from home.

Unkind, Impatient Me                                     

This New Normal isn’t any more new to me. But every single day, I honestly feel like the  “adjusting process” isn’t ending. Of late, I got lazy, I procrastinated, I skipped my daily faith devotions. I felt unproductive and I was not that consistent  in what I was doing.  And, I always got so disappointed with myself.

I got so hard on myself most of the time and it’s funny because I always tell  my friends to be kind to themselves, to be more patient to themselves.  But it turned out, the words that I tell to friends are the very words I need to hear.

Then, one weekend, I watched the movie Eat, Pray, and Love on YouTube. It was just random as I felt like I needed to watch something that would somehow lift my sagging spirit. So, I came across this two-hour movie, and I was moved by a quote that a character named Ketut said. These are not the exact words but what I remember he said is, “To lose balance is part of living a balanced life.”

I tried to digest the message for a minute, repeating the sentence over and over again:  “To lose balance is part of living a balanced life…”

And I was like, it really makes sense!

I am not perfect and losing my balance in this life from time to time is part of my journey. It is part of everyone’s journey. I was so hard on myself that I sometimes forgot that I am just me– I am weak, a sinner who needs a Savior.

Before long, I couldn’t help laughing at myself—for being so consumed by the notion that I should always be progressing.

But don’t get me wrong. Progress is a good thing. It’s just that sometimes,

I tend to forget that I am also human, and I make mistakes.

Accepting Me  

Just recently, I came across this quote earlier shared by a friend: “Maybe today is not an ‘improve yourself’ day. Maybe it can be an ‘accept yourself and get through’ day instead.”

Just relax and sip milk tea.

I don’t know, but I had the feeling in my heart that this message came from God. He was reminding me that I am loved by Him just the way I am, and I cannot do anything to change that. I felt the kindness, the patience of my Creator that I was moved to be  also kind and patient with myself.

This has been  one of the most special moments that I always long for since the day I followed Jesus. When He puts a message into my heart, through the movies

I watch, the books I read, the people I encounter, even through the sky, through the ocean, and through everything He created—all these remind me of His love for me and that is enough. I am enough, because of Him.

Throughout this Pandemic, each of us has our own battles to fight. But come to think of it, even if ever this Pandemic ends, there will be still battles for us to overcome.

But take heart. He is the one who sustains us, who promises:“For I the Lord your God, will hold your right hand. Fear not.” –Isaiah 41:13

It’s your turn! Share your blessings and be a blessing to others. Email now your story to lojlibrary2819@gmail.com